The Obligatory H1N1 Post

Honestly, I'm not too fussed about it. There has been nothing to convice me that it is any worse than the normal flu. And while I by no means want the flu, I'm not too concerned about it being of the "swine" variety.



I don't want the flu shot or the swine flu shot, although I know I should get them and I probably will. I've had one bad experience with a flu shot where I all of a sudden developed a fever of over 103 and felt like I was in my last days. I've had flu shots where that has not happened, but still I'm not too happy that it happened even once.



But I guess I should be careful, because I am considered immunocompromised. But I'm not going to go crazy over it. All I can say is to take precautions: wash your hands, don't go near sick people, etc. But don't stop living life just because it is out there.

Ughhh

Saw the doctor this morning for some strange headaches I have been having. Turns out I have a sinus infection. Not cool. Haven't had one of these in years. So now I am on antibiotics for the next 10 days. I hate antibiotics and this is my third round in just about four months. I'm not happy about that either. But hopefully these headaches will get better.

Only the Third Week? Really?

Classes are in full swing, but it is only the beginning of the third full week of classes. Somehow it seems that its been a lot longer than that. I have a whole bunch of papers and tests coming up that I am not looking forward to. I have already had a Spanish written test, graded homework and oral test. I did fine on all of them, so I am happy. Last week I was really worried about a test for my behavioral endocrinology class, but I think I did well on that as well. The grades have not been posted yet. In the next couple weeks I have a history paper, world cinema paper, shakesperare paper and advertising test. Whoopie!

I'm holding together for the most part. I see my doctor tomorrow because I think my sinuses may have a problem. I keep getting headaches that are not like my normal headaches. They are situated in the front of my head (my migraines are normally in the crown) and it hurts when I press the space on top of my eyes. I remember being told my sinuses didn't look that great when I got dental x-rays.

I'm very busy but I am enjoying it. I guess that is what counts.

Limits

This will be a quick post because I have to leave for class in 15 minutes. But this is a subject I have touched on before and want to talk about some more. How do you know when you reach your limit?

As I have said before, I am new to lupus. I don't have everything figured out about what I can tolerate and how far I can push myself. Usually, I figure it out when I start feeling like crap. So how do I avoid this? This would be an incredibly bad time for me to go into a major flare. I can deal with the joint pains and other symptoms, but I cannot be down for the count. There is far too much to be done. But how do I know I am pushing to hard before it it too late?

I have some ideas I will post later when I get a chance to really think out a post. But for now, does anyone else have any ideas?

Insomnia

This problem is one of the worst there is. Unfortunately, I have been suffering from it for a few years. I can be exhausted and not sleep. It's an incredibly lonely feeling being up when you know everyone else is asleep. Try as I might I cannot get my brain to shut up. No matter what I do during the day to try to wear myself out, I toss and turn for hours before drifting off into an often restless sleep. On days when I am achy I take a Tylenol PM, but I cannot get dependant on them. So I often just toss and turn. Unfortunately for my roommate my bed squeaks this year...

I don't think it has much to do with my lupus, but I can't be sure. Fatigue is a symptom of lupus I have, but more of the just-sit-in-bed-and-do-nothing fatigue, not the sleep for hours fatigue. It's more of a no matter how hard I try I can't get the energy to move type of fatigue. I am desperate to be able to fall asleep easily.

Anyone have any suggestions. It drives me crazy. How do you shut off your brain?

Just Relax

This weekend my joint pain got pretty bad. I knew that I needed to take it easy: rest, watch tv, in general do what pleases me. However, I am not very good at relaxing. There is always some school work to be done, some errand to be ran, etc. I absolutely did not want my joint pain to progress into a full blown flare, but I also did not want to just take time out to relax because it is not something that comes naturally to me. I'm happiest when I am busy.

Today I am not feeling that well and it is the beginning of the week. Not the best way to start off. And I know I really, really need just to lay in bed for a little bit and let my brain and body chill. But it's not that simple. Spanish class starts in 45 minutes-we have two quizzes. After that I need to get some lunch and then I go to work for a few hours. Then I have homework to do-reading and a video to watch for my online class.

I need to learn how to do this. I cannot do everything. Hopefully, very soon I will figure this out.

"Disability"

My first week of school is now over. It was pretty stressful. I started all six of my classes and also started work on Friday. I decided I would make this post about something that also made my week more stressful.

At my university, I qualify for disability services. This is something that I struggled with all last semester. I did not want to be stuck with the label of "disabled" when I could still move around and was able to get just about everything I wanted done. My first major flare did not hit until last semester, and after that, I realized that I should have something in place in case I ever feel so sick again.

With my disability accomodations, I am eligible for leniency on absences, extra time on assignments and extra time on tests. I doubt I will need extra time on tests, but the disability office put that on there just in case. I have to get all my professors and discussion leaders to sign a paper saying they understand I have a disabilty, although they do not know what it is, and will give me these accomodations.

Having these services is something that I do not want. I hated asking my professors and tried to hide the sheet so that none of the other students would see it. I guess I'm afraid of being stigmatized. But, at the same time, I realize that this is something I need. Even now, I am up at 7:20 in the morning because my joints ache from running around so much this week.

Can anyone else relate to not wanting a label?

I'm Baaaaackkk!

So classes start today. My first class is at 11:15. I have three today. My first is the only class I am taking for my psychology major, Behavioral Neuroendocrinology. Then I have Shakespeare to take care of my last literature requirement, then World Cinema for my communications majore. I am also taking an online advertising class for my communications major, Spanish and a class on world religion. Tomorrow I get my work schedule so I will see how that is going to fit into my already packed schedule.

I woke up today with a migraine. My alarm was set to ring at 9:30, but I woke up at 8 and took my migraine medicine. I'm happy it did not make me ridiculously groggy, because I want to be in tip top shape for my first day.

My roommate moves in today. She's an international student from Taiwan, so that should be interesting. I love learning about new cultures.

My dorm room is a closet. It's seriously tiny, but oh well.

Hopefully I will have a more coherent post later.

Just About Done

I wrapped up my summer internship today. I was working at a music production and promotions company booking concerts for local bands and artists. I really enjoyed the internship, and I got offered a paid position for next summer! I'm really happy about this. So summer really is coming to an end. I move back to school on Sunday, so I have to enjoy these last few days of summer.

I am going into my fourth year of school, although it will not be my last. This will only be my second semester st my current school because I transferred there last semester. I am double majoring in communications and psychology. I hope to go into artist management, specifically tour managing, when I graduate. Music has always been a huge part of my life, so I'm hoping that I can make a career out of it.

I've been dealing with a sore throat for over a week now and now I have several sores on the roof of my mouth. I'm hoping these things clear up before school really kicks into gear because I have too much on my plate to deal with my lupus becoming really active. I would not consider my lupus very well controlled, but it is manageable.

So for the next couple of days I am going to rest and stay out of the bright sunlight we have had for the last couple days and which is forecasted to persist. Hopefully this will be enough to make sure big bad lupus doesn't act up too much.